Bully Land

A collage image of two robots, a rabbit in a robe standing infront of a board of numbers. Pink hands are in mystical positions with shadows and energetic shapes come from them.

Bully Land

I take off my blue sweater.  This cardigan is for the other world.  The world of human construction.  I check my sweater and wave my wand over it to clean it and check for any tears or spots. I don my wizard’s cloak.  This cloak is for this world.  I take my wizard hat, the hat for this world, and head to the bridge.

On the bridge, I see Mike. I’m a little surprised he is just there. 

He is covered in armor and biotech, and I start to wave my wand to remove the armor—then I realize that’s not my job. This armor is frightening. His musculature and his stance are part of his armor, this is what he needs to survive.

If he needs to wear it to feel safe.  To protect.  Let him be.

I wish him well. I’m sorry, I love you, please forgive me, and thank you. I see that he didn’t want me on his team, and that’s okay. My nature is different—I’m more yin than yang. My energy is different from his, and my path must be as well.

It’s not that his path is wrong—it’s just not right for me.

I see a Pegasus soaring by me, over the bridge. Then another, and another. A blue field of energy surrounds them as we head to the bridge. The rabbit is there again, and we bow to each other.

I tell the rabbit that my heart is still heavy. My friend turned against me, and I don’t know if he was ever really with me. He has a history of betrayals. He hurt me before. He was unkind to me and my family. He hurt other people I know.

It’s hard to cross the bridge when I’m in pain—not a lot of pain, but some tenderness.

I feel the Pegasus beneath my hands, and we ride—Rabbit and I. I am so grateful to be carried.

Rabbit anoints me with a balm and waves some incense, and the smoke surrounds me, filling my energy field.  The smell awakens me to the here and now.

We travel with the Pegasus to a place where the foals are. Their wings are barely formed, and they run around, leaping into the air over and over again, watching their mothers fly.

There is a lesson here for me. I want to come here and help others. I want to soar. Perhaps part of me is still the baby foal—and part of me is the father Pegasus, with his powerful body and his ability to soar.

How I want to be in this world is not as an angry man but as my majestic, beautiful self—and that can mean reflecting this great strength.

I feed the Pegasus. What do you need?

I need you to show up in your boldness and speak from your heart. ♥️ Your tenderness, your call for mercy, is needed right now—as an antidote to the toxicity that surrounds us.

Behind that armor are tears. A young boy crying for a mother and father. I want to go comfort that child, and I also need to comfort my own inner child—the one who wants to comfort that boy but also needs protection. He cannot be what I wanted him to be.  I cannot be what I want to be for him.

The energy is difficult. The younger part of me wants to care for him but is weary. The adult part of me wants to protect the younger part.

(Some sort of transition)

And I see another.  Its Jason. He was a child in Grade School who tormented me. How he did the f*g test on me, rubbing that key on my hand fifty times. I withstood the test, In doing so,  creating a huge wound that got infected. I hid it from my mother for months. She didn’t know it happened in her classroom. She didn’t know until it was very infected. She also never addressed what had happened—or why I subjected myself to that.

The bully’s needs are part of this, as I have an inner bully.

The bully. The shadow. The frump. The liar. Jason.

This is a magic land. Rabbit, what should I do?

Imagine that they have their loving and caring parents around them. They are all on their own journey, and there is only so much you can do—except what you are doing. Surround them with care. Imagine them reunited with loving, caring parents, however that looks for them, and release them.

Why did I do it? Why did I take the f*g test?

I wanted to stand up to him. To prove that I was tough. That I wasn’t a f*g. That whatever he dished out, I could take it. That he couldn’t hurt me anymore.

What would I have liked from my parents?

Protection. I would have liked someone to help me—to stop him from hurting me, scaring me, making fun of me. To help me develop the tools to protect myself. Once I didn’t have to see him all the time, he became less of an issue for me.  When we got to middle school, he seemed to disappear.  We were on different tracks and he seemed to have a whole new set of problems.

Magical world, imagining those young people with loving parents or guides.

What can I do about the scar?

It’s not visible anymore, but it’s still there. I can get a tattoo over it, transform it into art. I can create something around it or write a story about it. I can ask for help.

I see my parents around me, hugging me, loving me. I see my dad at the talent show and the circus, laughing, so proud of me.

Transition about Jason / structure orientation

When I was in third grade, I was a clown in the circus play. Yes, I was. And Jason played the strongman. He had to display his incredible strength, lifting the barbells. He did a great job selling the act—straining, struggling, and finally lifting them to great applause.

Then I came by and lifted them easily, sauntering off the stage, showing that they were light. That the strongman was pretending.

It was funny.

Part of me wonders—did that embarrass Jason? Or did he get the gag?

And that moment, too, illustrates my strength. How I tackle things. My energy. My yin to his yang.

Thank you, Rabbit. Thank you, Pegasus.

I see Jason with his family. His father isn’t very nice to him. I want to comfort him—but he punches me in the stomach, just like he did before. Just like he punched my dad.

I ask the Pegasus to surround him in blue light. To cut any cords I have with him.

I forgive you, I love you, I’m sorry, and thank you.

May you find the inner peace you need.

And I ask you—stop bullying me. Stop bullying anyone else. Find another way to get your needs met.  And I know, I need to stop bullying myself.

I see my younger self on the Pegasus, having a wonderful time.

There is more here, and I can return.

(Another thing here)

I surround Mike and all the bullies I have encountered with the blue light of the Pegasus.

May your hearts be healed. May you find grace and love in your lives.

May I find peace and love in mine. May I get my needs met without bullying others.

The Pegasus surrounds me. I feel their strong bodies against mine. I feel protected and appreciated.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

I give them food and water, and they let me know—it is their time to care for me. I need to receive it right now.

And we fly.

We soar through the clouds, into ravines. People applaud us, looking on in awe and wonder.

Thank you.

Back to the bridge, I give thanks to the Pegasus. He is large and impressive and beautiful. And I thank Rabbit for his guidance today.

He tells me, Soon, we will meet the Mistress.

I bow.

I cross the bridge and hang my robes. There is a Pegasus wing—blue and iridescent. Sometimes light blue, sometimes dark blue, with a faint trail of magic around it.

I am grateful.

I put it into my medicine bundle and on my wizard hat.

I remove my wizard’s robes and hang them.

I put on my sweater.

And I return to this Earth.